Friday, October 4, 2013

Two Years Ago

Oh October 5th, you are so infamous.

I debated on writing this blog post for a few different reasons. I don't think this day deserves any recognition because in the long run, it is meaningless. Writing about it brings back memories and not any that I particularly care to relive. The day is behind us and life is nothing like I'd imagined it on this day and the days that followed. But, I take ownership of this day because it did play a huge part in my life.

The emotions that course through you as a mother finding out there is something wrong with your unborn child are something that no one  besides other parents who have gone through similar situations can even begin to understand. Sure, friends and family members can say "I understand" but it's simply not true. I don't say this to hurt feelings or offend anyone. I say this because it's a truth that doesn't often get said.

As I reread my original post (here), I can't believe how weak I felt. I felt like my life had ended and I didn't know how to go on. My life as I knew it did end, but not life itself. Life is different, but it's good, and in that moment I couldn't even begin to see that. I won't pretend that this will prevent other new moms from feeling this way but it does show that in times where you think you can't possibly survive a situation, there is a future and it's much brighter than you think.

You become a super woman. You will probably be "one of those moms" (you know, the crazy ones) much sooner than you think when dealing with medical professionals. You won't flinch at talking about poop, catheterizing, or posting pictures of "does this look weird to you?!" on your support groups. You'll become an advocate for a cause you probably didn't know existed until now (October is SB Awareness Month!!). And your kid will be AWESOME in more ways than you can count.

I will be spending THIS October 5th cuddling my adorable 20 month old, playing with annoying musical toys she can't get enough of, and catching the game (I swear this child WILL love football, we are starting early!)