Every mother has the gift of being awesome if they choose to do so. But some mothers are given an additional task of being more, of being extraordinary. They don't ask for it and when it's shoved upon them, it certainly doesn't seem like a gift at all. In fact, it can feel like your world is ending when you hear that something isn't quite right with your child, born or unborn. So here's my letter to those moms who've just had the title of extraordinary handed to them.
Extraordinary Mom,
You will be okay. I feel the need to say this first because it's short and to the point, and it's true. Sure, life has been shaken up for you and you'll need time to adjust, but you will survive. You will have to learn new things and your life will change forever. It might suck at times (any special needs mom who denies that is full of crap), but your good times will outweigh the bad ones. The key is to realize those moments are worth more to you before they even happen.
Thinking positive sounds lame and cliche; do it anyway. I know you can't help but to think through every single worst case scenario. Thinking positive doesn't mean you have to be happy about it, just that you can explore all the sides rather than just the dark one.
I also know at some point you're going to want to punch someone in the face for being all rainbows and sunshine when all you want to do is wallow in sadness. I wanted to smack the next person who told me "God only gives special children to special people". Barf. It is NOT okay to assault your friends and family, but it IS okay to be sad. Now, if someone tells you that you can't be sad.... Well, I might support punching that one.... But seriously though! Grieve. It's natural to mourn the loss of the baby you thought you were having. But while you grieve, remember that you're still having a beautiful baby, he or she is just different than the one you pictured.
Take a break from the research. As the Google Everything Queen, I get the urge to want to know every little thing about your child's diagnosis, connect with every stinkin' support group there is, ask every question under the sun, and get some definitive answers. It's awesome to be educated, it's not so awesome to be consumed by a diagnosis.
You are still YOU, so make some time for that. Do you like to sew? Scrapbook? Read? Do those things. Taking time for yourself will make you feel like yourself and not some zombie just going through the motions until your child is born. And even after your child is born, all babies need a happy, healthy mama. Sure, it's a little tougher to get away (heck, if my hair grows a few more inches before I can find a moment at the salon, I'll have ombre. That is still in style right?!) but even a short walk in the fresh air will do you some good.
I'm sure there's so much more that I can say to you, newly titled Extraordinary Mom.... But I will end with this: Know that you are never alone in your journey and you are loved. It's going to be hard but you will grow and learn and soon you'll have your own "normal".
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Of course, I have to end with a little update on Callie :) We have seen such amazing progress lately. Since starting Young Living Essential Oils.... We got our very first therapy progress report that actually showed IMPROVEMENT. Big deal in this house, we should have ordered a cake. Callie is making great strides in her speech skills.... We've heard a lot of new sounds since starting frankincense and I am more than impressed at this point. She can now hold onto two small, light toys and bang them together in front of her. Purposefully. WOW! She is beginning to balance herself while on her tummy, and her head control is getting better each day. She enjoys standing in her braces with assistance and is continuing to work on her trunk control. Of course, she continues to increase her cuteness to adorable ratio on a daily basis. If you'd like more info on joining our oil journey, come visit our facebook page or send me comment :)
Our family's journey through a diagnosis of spina bifida, followed by fetal surgery.
Callista
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
Two Week Oil Update, etc.
For two weeks now we've been using oils daily on Callista's feet. If I didn't see it for myself, I'd think it was crazy. But she has been adding new speech sounds faster than ever over these last few weeks (we've even missed therapy for three weeks!!!). I've also noticed that she consciously/purposely moves her feet much more than she ever has. I don't think we've seen HUGE strides just yet, but with these tiny steps already showing, I have a feeling great things are to come by continuing our oil journey.
In other news, I am sure most of you know that a few weeks ago, Callista had a seizure. She's never had one before so it was a scary thing for me. As soon as she woke up, she began twitching and it lasted about 15 minutes. We called the squad after we realized she wasn't stopping. Luckily she did not need meds to intervene, she stopped almost as soon as the ambulance arrived. After a trip to the local ER and then to NCH, her MRI showed her shunt was functioning fine, she did not have a fever, and there were no other causes that they could determine. This Wednesday, she has an EEG so if you could pray for good results that would be wonderful <3 For now, we have emergency meds and we hope it was just a one time deal.
In other news, I am sure most of you know that a few weeks ago, Callista had a seizure. She's never had one before so it was a scary thing for me. As soon as she woke up, she began twitching and it lasted about 15 minutes. We called the squad after we realized she wasn't stopping. Luckily she did not need meds to intervene, she stopped almost as soon as the ambulance arrived. After a trip to the local ER and then to NCH, her MRI showed her shunt was functioning fine, she did not have a fever, and there were no other causes that they could determine. This Wednesday, she has an EEG so if you could pray for good results that would be wonderful <3 For now, we have emergency meds and we hope it was just a one time deal.
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