How Do You Do It?

"I don't know how you do it" is a statement I, along with other special needs moms hear pretty often. Some find it offensive and I can see why. It implies we put up with things that we shouldn't have to and that is partially true. We shouldn't have to spend nights in the hospital or watch other kids grow and surpass our own. But I am not offended because those that utter the phrase have positive intent. What I choose to glean from the statement is this:

• I am an amazing mother who goes above and beyond for my child because I have to, and because I want to
• I go through more than most mothers but still come out smiling even if life sucks at the moment
• I show up to work and continue to be productive after sleeping on a hospital couch or better yet, NOT sleeping at all when a normal person drags in a bad mood
• I drop everything to do what's best for my kid and others notice and appreciate this
• I have more stamina now to keep chugging along than I had when I was 20, younger, more metabolism, etc. 

I recently told someone I get by on snickers bars and caffeine. That's "how I do it". We all do what it takes to make sure our children get what they need. Now "How do you do it" differs completely from "I could never do what you do". Now THAT is offensive. Because I think anyone could do it. You do what you have to. A tiny human being who needs more than a normal tiny human being has a way of wrapping you around their adorable little fingers and you're stuck for life. Walk across a floor of tacs? Jump through a hoop of fire? Go on two hours of sleep in three days? Why yes, dear, if that's what you need from me to be happy and as healthy as you can be.

The official diagnosis was a UTI, the same one as the last, it never fully went away with her first doses of antibiotic. Apparently the UTI caused vomiting, then the treatment caused nausea, which caused more vomiting.Wednesday, she had another MRI, which showed her ventricles increased. This implied a shunt malfunction. Her neurosurgeon did a shunt tap which showed there was no way it could be pressure in her head. Then as they were resetting her shunt setting, it was discovered that the magnet tool they use to set the shunt was not working! So for a week, her shunt was set at 1, instead of 0.5. It explained the increase in her ventricles and quickly resolved itself once the setting was corrected.

As far as us, we are home for now, and how we do it has gotten easier than the last two weeks! We had the pleasure of sleeping in our own bed last night and hanging out in our lazy day clothes today. Miss Callista was so happy to be home and to sit in her pink chair.  She hasn't had a single breath holding spell since she left the hospital which contributes to my theory that she simply hates it there. We all slept in today, making up for sleepless nights away from home. They gave us a new bag to hang with her feeding to help her get the air out of her tummy. Hopefully we are in for a much more pleasant eating experience. Right now, she is still on slow, continuous feeds and gradually we will work our way back into a normal schedule. She has a nutrition clinic appointment next week to see about what we can do to meet her needs but avoid milk and soy. Other than that, we're just looking forward to our three whole days together.

Also, welcome to all our new readers from Callista's facebook page. We are so happy to have you on our team!

So Which One are We Choosing??

By "which one?" I mean which diagnosis! Callista has been in the hospital since Monday for vomiting. We took her to the ER on Friday and they did a shunt series and MRI, then sent us home. By Monday, she couldn't keep anything down and it was dehydrating her. In the ER, they insisted again on the shunt being the culprit. It was not. She was admitted and more testing was done throughout the week. For four days straight, if she was awake she was screaming in pain and having breath holding spells one right after another. I think we got maybe 9 hours of sleep total in those four days. She has been through several tests and procedures. Now we are playing the game where we try to see how many diagnosis we can go through.

1. Shunt-- Nope says Neuro
2. Kidney infection-- No way says Renal Scan and X-Rays
3. Shunt (again, seriously?)-- Once again, a big N-O from Neuro
4. UTI-- Yes actually, but it's still the same one from last time which apparently did not get cleared up.
5. G-tube ulcer- Scope says no, but there is a lot of irritation in her esophagus and stomach lining.

We are still admitted, I can't wait to see how many more we can add to our list and how many more times "shunt" comes up. To top it off, we were put on the junk floor over in the old part of the hospital. It's not the fact that it's an old room, but more that most of the people over there are clueless. Many of them refuse to listen to us as parents, there is only one space to sleep (one space, two parents, what to do?), and many of the people fluctuate from being TOO attentive and waking her up every five seconds, or not attentive at all, with alarms and beeping driving us nuts for long periods of time. Lucky us, after it was decidedly a GI issue, we got moved to the GI unit. One of our favorite nurses is taking care of her now, and I actually got some sleep. Nothing more exciting than that! It certainly isn't the way I wanted to spend my week or weekend but hopefully we've convinced GI that there's something more going on besides simple reflux.

Three Letters: UTI

What a bummer! Callista is admitted to the hospital with a UTI. She has been vomiting since her MRI April 2nd, but we attributed some of that to her adverse reaction to anesthesia. Then we changed her formula to something for older children around the same time. So the symptoms could have been due to many things. But apparently it was a UTI. I am quite a bit disappointed it got this far considering I brought it up to urology at our clinic the first week of April. I told them I had concerns about it and it was brushed off. When will they learn that moms know best?

As for now, we will be in the hospital at least until tomorrow, but maybe more depending on what kind of bacteria is causing her infection. This also sets back scheduling the shunt revision. I haven't heard from the team how long we have to wait now, but it's too dangerous to do a surgery when there is infection in the body. The last thing we need is a shunt infection to go along with it. We have several neurosurgeons on the same page now regarding how to proceed with the syrinx. A large pocket of fluid is in the center of her brian and the catheter is barely in the pocket. Hopefully once the shunt is fully functioning again, it will clear up all the extra fluid making its way down her spine.

I shared on Callie's facebook page as well, but wanted to post here too... We have joined the Amazon Affiliate program. To the right, there is a link to amazon. If you ever shop there, you can go through Callie's link and a percentage of your purchase will go into her medical account. It costs you nothing! Please consider using the link in your shopping endeavors :) We use these funds for equipment that insurance won't cover, as well as saving for braces, etc. since only one set gets covered in a certain time period.